Monday 3 January 2011

Meat Me In Bogota


At Andres Carnes De Res, you don´t just queue to get in. You have to queue to queue to get in. And that´s after a taxi journey so mammoth that the driver has to pull over and make you sign pages of paperwork at Bogota´s official border.

We made the trip as we heard that Andres Carnes De Res was the greatest restaurant in Colombia. Arriving though, it appeared to me that that the word `restaurant´isn´t really correct. I´d choose `theme park´. As you step through the door a man in a sombrero forces you take a shot of tequila from a hollowed-out lime. Walking on, as you eat from baskets of strawberries and are seranaded by a boysterous barbershop quartet, you notice that there isn´t a single space on the walls or ceiling on which a trinket isn´t hanging or flashing or hanging and flashing. When the menu arrives, it´s in a metal box operated by a little wheel which scrolls through pages and pages of meat options.

Above all this, it´s the diners that make Andres Carnes De Res truly great. The place is throbbing with drunk, attractive, drunk men and drunk women. Before, during, and after the meal, people will wander up to you to have a drunken chat. Noone really sits down to eat, but instead hovers around about 4 tables, picking at giant piles of meat and drinking from bottles of spirits. When the meat is taken away, people dance around and on the tables for long enough that they can sleep the taxi journey home.

What I´m saying is, you should go. Or alternatively, you should visit the experience-restaurant Miranda and I will soon found in Stepney Green.

Miranda turns the menu wheel to discover 100 new ways of frying meat

some of the meat

to give the whole experience a unique edge, we took the trip with 2 English girls who use the word `leathered´.

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